Only two days until the new year!

  How can this be? Only two more days until the New Year, weren't we just celebrating 2013? Now 2014 is almost upon us and in all honesty I am very glad about that. There is so much I am longing to explain here on the blog about my life and all that has happened to my family and I this past year but it will just have to wait until the next year. This year has probably been the hardest most terrifying year of my life, most of it was excruciatingly painful mentally and spiritually, and I unfortunately cannot say that much good has come out of any of this...yet. I pray everyday that we will prosper after all that has been done to us and I hope one day the questions I have pondered on a daily basis will eventually be answered.
  The pain I have kept hidden away for so long has been eating away at my soul, mocking me and tauntingly exclaiming how unfair my life is, however can I possibly go on. But try as I might to push it away that voice of darkness nags me day after day, night after night never ceasing its relentless plan to destroy who I am. I was angry at God for awhile, hurt beyond all measure and almost lost touch with him. You are all probably lost right now about what I am talking about but soon I will write a series of blog posts about what transpired during the year 2013. I am in the process of healing, slowly but surely I can fell the seams of my torn heart slowly being sown back together. That's the hardest thing though, once something is broken there will always be scars that sometimes never fade. I will never forget this year, nor will I want to remember it either, one day maybe God will provide me with the answers and then again maybe he won't I really don't know.
  I am ready though, ready to move on with my life and make something of myself and seek God's wisdom and guidance wherever he may lead me. A whole new year is waiting just around the corner, it's time to take the last few steps to reach the beginning of my new season of life. It's time to move on.


 Although life has been hard, it didn't stop us from having a great Christmas, it was not over the top like it normally is every year, but the gifts we gave were more personal and practical which I really thought was a nice change. I also celebrated my birthday on December the 19th, I'm 19 years old now!! When on earth did 19 years of my life go by, it's crazy, simply crazy. I had the best gingerbread cupcakes (gingerbread anything is absolutely my favorite food, seriously I could devour the stuff.) I ate two cupcakes, but hey my birthday only comes once a year so a little splurge is well deserved every so often. Normally I am on a pretty strict diet with lots of fresh food (for example I just downed a whole cup of a healthy homemade pumpkin banana smoothie lol!) and lots of exercise but not that day!! I got an adorable tea pot and my dad took us to see The Hobbit the Desolation of Smaug which was absolutely fantastic!!! I loved it and actually want to see it again. Here are a few photos!

Hot Cider and Peanut Butter Chocolate Caramel Hershey Kiss Cookies for Santa

 

 

Close up

 

 

 Another photo!

 

 

Beautiful Christmas Eve sky

 



Although I don't have a camera of my own my cell phone doesn't do too bad of a job taking photos especially because I was power walking, a car was coming and my little brother was starting to get a bit antsy in his stroller. All in all the sky photos weren't too bad?

 

                      And my delicious cupcakes my mom made me for my birthday! I though she did an amazing job. I couldn't eat the gingerbread children because of my soy allergy but the cupcake was simply divine! I was in heaven the rest of the night and craved them while we were watching The Hobbit.

 

 

 

And here is a little video of encouragement:

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Gvt__r9EU0

 

Have an awesome New Year!!

 



Photo update!

 

Well how do you all do? It is time that I post more photos here as my blog is really lacking in that area. So here we go!




Our Christmas tree complete with lights and decoration.



My sister Faith, myself, and my dog Ryder. Well at least part of him!



Funny face moment, my sister thought I was pretty odd but hey we all have our moments.

 

A decent picture of myself and Ryder.

 

 

These next few photos are from this past summer so they are not quite so old. I am so glad that summer has past though, I could not bare the heat of the sun's hot rays any longer. North Carolina gets so darn hot it's absolutely ridiculous as I am not accustomed to such extreme heat. Although I don't mind the mild winters, if only we had snow... but enough rambling it's time I show some photos!

Adorable baby bunny that we rescued from my uncles wild cats.

 

Faith and my baby brother Brayden riding Prancer their ever faithful horse.

 

 

And after a storm a magnificent rainbow appeared over the newly tilled fields while we were out driving.

 

 

Rays of sunlight breaking through the gray clouds, it was absolutely breathtaking.

 

 



And I think I shall end with this photo. It reminds me of how even when we feel like there is no hope left and seems as though Satan is about to win, God breaks down the enemies walls and triumphs over the darkness, to God alone we will praise, to God alone is his glory. There is no one else like him, how can we not love Him?

Finally some long awaited photos.



These are not the most recent up to date photos, but I think they will do just fine for now. All of the photos I am about to show here were taken in Rhode Island not in North Carolina, but I hope you all enjoy them just the same!



  Flowing river in the park



At the time this was the newly repaired bridge, you could smell the fresh wood and the protective stain that was applied just days before.



My sister gazing at the water on the bridge.



A never ending path, I would walk along that path forever daydreaming about so many things.... And watching out for bears.



The dwindling fall leaves captured my attention and I had to capture this rare photo opportunity. I love taking photos of things that people don't usually pay any mind to.



Not the best, but I think I like it.



The sun peeking through the barren tree tops, the glare really hurt my eyes! (smiles)

And now for some beach photos, oh how I miss and long for the beach!!



A lone shell with tiny little foot marks scattered about.



Wild flowers were in full bloom and brought such lovely color to the slightly grey day we spent on the beach.



This boastful flower was just begging for some attention so I took its photograph. It seemed quite pleased with itself after that.



My baby brother Brayden with the biggest grin. He was smiling because my other little brother Jacob was making silly faces, and because he was sitting on the wall all by himself... that made me a bit scared!



Jacob pushing Brayden at the playground/beach.


And that is all for now!! I didn't realize how homesick I was until I was browsing through all of my old photos, I long to go back home sometimes. But I hope you enjoy the photos I've taken and maybe next time I will have a few more posted, more recent ones of course.  

(All photos were taken with my cell phone)

Time has simply run away from me

My how time flies by when you are pre-occupied with life, especially during the last two months it has just been a crazy ride and I am glad that it's over. The next few months also promise to be just as busy with multiple birthdays coming up and of course all of the holidays and the activities that come with them. But I will try my hardest to post at least once a week in an attempt of keeping up with my blog, and I hope that I can start getting some pictures uploaded on here as I have none which is purely unacceptable, I've been a bit lazy in that area. I never actually realized how hard it was maintaining a blog but now I know and appreciate all of those amazing people who can keep up with their daily demands and still post. I hope I will be able to work out a schedule so that I may be able to do the same thing.

Yes I am a stay at home daughter

Why am I a stay at home daughter? Well, it's a long story but I shall try to keep it as short as possible for my standards anyways. I didn't just "become" a SAHD overnight, it actually took many years for the idea to take a hold of me, and even then I wasn't entirely convinced that I should do this. All the years I was in school (from K to 6th grade) the teachers molded and shaped me into choosing just one path and having one mindset, I had to go to college and get that career. A career that would proclaim that I was more than just a woman but a woman that could compete and make a name for herself, not just some boring old homemaker that sat around doing nothing. I was a very bright student, also very athletic so teachers and coaches were always telling me I had to do more or colleges wouldn't want me. I was pushed to the point of exhaustion and eventually began experiencing symptoms of nervous breakdowns, that's how bad it had gotten. I mean how was I supposed to handle all of my advanced schoolwork, extra curricular activities, friends, family and the occasional job without collapsing under the weight of it all? Many people I know can but for me I just couldn't deal with all the stress it caused me on a daily basis.

Yea that s probably how I looked on occasion!!

After I had completed sixth grade, my mom decided that enough was enough and my siblings and I were pulled out of the public school system. For the first time ever we were to be homeschooled everyone except my older brother (he is another blog post altogether!). My mom had actually wanted to do this for quite some time but always she was talked down about homeschooling, until she took a stand and took it upon herself to make sure her children were provided with a better "education". I was highly skeptical at first and tried to come up with ways to get my mom to sign me back in to school, my friends and many other people thought it was the most absurd thing they had ever heard of, my how wrong they were. As time passed on though I grew to not only like it but loved being homeschooled and I never wanted to step foot in a brick and mortar educational building again. There was no more stress, no more teachers hounding me, just my mom, siblings and I at home learning highly valuable skills we would need inside and outside the home. Still there was one thing that continued to bother my conscience, I still had college embedded into my brain. I thought to make money, to make a name for myself I had to go because that was all I was ever taught. My mother though tried to teach me differently in all of the little things she did, and I am so grateful to her. Finally God literally had to open my eyes to see was before me all along and He firmly told me in a dream that I was to follow this path and He would lead me to greater things than I could ever dream of. And that is why I chose to be a SAHD.

 But there is this common misconception that I must clear up because it is most disturbing. Many people believe that SAHD are lazy and just loafing about waiting for Prince Charming to sweep us off our feet where we live Happily Ever After. Uh no, sorry that only happens in fairytales, not in real life. So, what do we daughters do at home all day? Well I work a full time job you could say, even on Saturdays and a even Sundays. I help cook, clean, look after my siblings, try to earn money, save for my future, write, read, take long walks in nature, spend valuable time with my family, play with my dog, research, do crafts, and much, much more. And you know what? I'd never change a thing about it. Sure I wish financially we were doing better, but all in God's timing. I am trying to find a job and working every way I can to provide for myself and my future, but again it is all in God's timing. Unfortunately I tend to be picky about the jobs laid before me! Yes I know I should be grateful for work but I am the type of person that if I am not happy with a job I cannot do my best, and I become depressed very quickly. It's happened before and I don't want it to happen ever again. I know what I want but it is so hard waiting for it to happen sometimes. God has shown me what I am to be doing, and I am doing my best to be obedient to Him and to everything I believe, but it is difficult when your options are limited.
 Now, I am not saying you cannot get a college degree or become certified in a field of your choice, I wholeheartedly believe that you should do this! It doesn't have to be done going to college or anything like that, but it can be done online at home! Once I save up for my birth doula course you can bet I will become certified and will start working as soon as I can be hired! I pray for that day to come soon, I really do. You can get a job, you can get a degree, but it doesn't have to be done society's way, it can be done God's way.

Well, Who am I?

 I am the daughter of my beloved Father in heaven who saved me from my sins, accepts me for who I am and is constantly teaching me and training me in His ways. Without my Father I would be lost, broken, and utterly confused not knowing what to do. I'm so grateful, and I thank Him everyday for His continual presence in my daily life.

 Now for a little bit more about myself... My name is Cheyenne, I am an 18 year old homeschool graduate, the second oldest of 8 children, and at the moment a SAHD. I am saving up for an online birth doula course and will hopefully be working within the next year in this amazing field. I love children and I want to be apart of bringing precious life into the world, there is absolutely nothing else like it in my opinion. I am addicted to reading seriously if you could read books for a living, then I would be doing just that but I have yet to find a job like this. Writing takes a close second, I positively love writing, I am currently occupied with writing a book of poetry and working on a series of children's books, which is a hint at my title of this blog. Reading and writing complete me, I am not myself without either of them and I thank God for the ability to do both for I would be an utter mess without them. Homesteading and all things nature ties for third and you will find many photos on these subjects all throughout my blogging I hope you don't mind! Although you will rarely find photos of myself on the blog as I really don't like to take pictures of myself on here as I don't like to take them! My family will make regular appearances on here, but not too much of me will, but you will get the smallest glimpse of me every once in a while!
 It has taken me awhile to muster up the courage to start a blog, partially because I thought it wouldn't amount to anything, but I have come to realize it could actually turn into something wonderful. I write a lot, so this would be a perfect place to post pieces of my work and have others (kindly!!) critique my work so that I can take your kind suggestions and weave them into my work. All of my content is copyrighted so please email me or comment below and ask permission before you use my work and please link back to my website to give credit where it's due. I am all about fairness and would appreciate if others do the same. And don't be shy! I want to hear comments from those who come onto my blog!
 I believe this concludes my post about Who I am and what you can expect to find out about me, as time goes on you will know a lot more of who I am and I hope to find out more about those who read my blog. So have fun, and take a look around!

 Blessings,

Cheyenne