Another chance to start over again.

 A new year has come upon us once more, and it's as if God has provided us with another chance to begin anew to start fresh. It's a time when we let go of our past mistakes and try to correct them by making our annual New Year's resolutions. But in all honesty, how many of us actually keep them? I for one am one of those people who struggle on a day to day basis just to make it through the list of "to-do's" I made the night before. Well this year I have decided to try and keep the resolutions I made by keeping myself accountable to God and following his word and not my own. This is one thing that has never occurred to me and I feel a bit ashamed of myself for not doing it before. But 2013 was the most difficult year of my life and I never, never, never, EVER want it to happen to my family or myself again! My relationship with God was tested to the extreme, I felt as though I had been torn to pieces and that I wouldn't ever be able to be sewn back together. I shut myself down, I was going through the motions of life but I never allowed myself to feel anything, not love, not anger, not happiness, not sorrow, absolutely nothing. It was just me, myself and I. At first I thought it was depression, and many I have talked to agree that it was a form of depression. I suffered physically and mentally for it let me tell you though. My hair thinned out, I actually had to cut it to prevent the scraggly ends and I always had long hair, ALWAYS. I was borderline anorexic which was really frightening for me. And since the age of 13 or 14 I had pretty mild to moderate acne, I had it under control for a few years but with all the stress it flared up pretty severely. I was a complete mess, I hid myself away from the world hiding in the darkest of shadows never revealing what I truly thought, I was afraid and didn't want to endure the pain of everything all over again.

But I am now on my road to recovery, I have found the path that leads to God once more and I feel as though this is a whole new year and I am stronger after all that I've been through. My relationship with the Lord is astonishingly stronger and better than it ever has been and I have healed or am healing in other areas too. My hair has become thicker, I no longer starve myself, and my acne has healed up so now all I am left with are scars from my past breakout. God has healed me and I am extremely grateful for how faithful he has been. Even when I thought I wouldn't ever see the light, God revealed to me that there is hope, hope that life does go on amidst the pains and sorrows of life, and that joy and peace can be found if one seeks Him. I understand now, it was not easy believe me but it was all worth it.

This new year is a chance for me to start over, through God's guidance and everlasting love, I will be able to persevere and live on.

My New Year's Resolutions:

1. To walk closer with God
2. To read my bible more often
3. Finally be able to find a job (another post on that later on)
4. Once I start making money, purchase my own car
5. Earn a diploma in a vocational career (as back up for a day when I might need something more than a job at McD)
6. Write more children's stories/poems
7. Move back up North!!! I miss it so much!
8. Visit my brother Evan and his girlfriend Taylor in New Hampshire! :)))
9. To just read, and read, and read, and read!! Did I mention read?
10. Exercise more! I love exercise and nutrition so very much!
11. Perfect my bread making skills
12. Eat a low sugar diet, only reserved for special occasions and even then very little. It throws my body out of balance.
13. Save money for the future
14. Pray more
15. Wear a lot more skirts, they are so feminine and can be dressed up or dressed down. Maxi skirts are my absolute favorite and my best! (From Charlie and Lola)
16. Enjoy the time I have with my family because one day I will not always be with them (sniffles)
17. Eat lots of figs, I adore dried figs!!
18. And I am not sure of anything else?

Well that is all I have for right now, but I am sure there is probably more that I am just not remembering at the moment. I hope you all are having a wonderful and blessed New Year so far!

And here is my favorite song that I am currently loving right now!